'Ello. Jock O. Lantern here. Born in a little pumpkin field just east of Edinburgh. I was raised by 2 strange people collectively known as 'parents'. Raised in a place called Lenzie, which is a tiny patch of town near Glasgow. Went to school there, later went on to Strathclyde Uni, and finally landed with a thud in London in 1998. Been here ever since, working as an IT bod for a trading bank...Although maybe not for much longer.